I have been working hard on getting Falling ready to release but it is taking way more time than I expected. The more I force myself to write it faster the less I want to write it at all. I've decided to just give myself more time and get the book completed the way it should be.

I'm struggling with writing a book that I would want to read and writing a book that most might want to read. I don't like it when an author overly writes and describes every single detail to me like I am an idiot who lacks imagination. I feel like in my rewriting process, I am becoming one of those writers. While I think some parts should be overly written to give a good idea of what you want the reader to envision, I don't think every sentence needs to be that way.

This book is just making me mad lately... I want to have the right amount of both so that I can tell the story I want but have it relatable to others. I feel like lately I've been so consumed with trying to finish the book and give so much detail that it has turned me off from my own book. I'm just going to take a few days away from the book and read some others for inspiration. See how the people I like to read have composed the book's overall theme. Take notes of the parts I like and the one's I felt weren't necessary.

I feel like when I am too involved in my book and writing the way someone suggest I should write puts my mind in to overload. I forget the message I am trying to send out because I am so consumed with the small details. Being a first time author is confusing and stressful. There are days I can't peel my fingers off the keyboard and others that I don't even turn on my computer at all. Add in the new stresses of working all day and being so tired at night that I want to sleep more than I want to be creative... it's just overwhelming!

I'm going to shoot for an August release date that way I can make this book my own. I don't like feeling smothered by my own artwork. I'm not writing this book for everyone else. I'm writing this book for me and I want to share it with everyone else. That's why being Indie is so amazing! No one can tell me what I should write and how I should be writing it. Those are choices I get to make all on my own and I feel like lately they have been taken from me. Not so much as someone saying, "hey don't do that do this instead" but more as in, "do it better and faster".

I want to write it amazing and slowly as the characters come to me and take the book where the adventure leads me. I don't make an outline or go by character descriptions because that's just not how I operate. Everyday I wake up I have a different reason for being alive. Some days I wake up and I want to be a selfish bitch while others I want to give the shirt off my back. There are days that I want to show my husband how much I love him by spending all day together talking and taking the kids {aka dogs} for walks etc and others that I just want to be left alone, not spoken to, and not bothered with. Sometimes I am moody and snappy and sometimes I am sweet and loving. No day is every the same and I am never the same. So I can't write with a purpose when I can't even live one. My characters are honest to the author I am able to be. I like to change them up as I go along and take them places that inspire me as I write their future.

Feeling forced or believing my technique is flawed is burning out my fire. I don't want my fire burnt out because this is the first time I've ever felt passionate about something before. So, I'm sorry if it's annoying and frustrating but I promise it is for the better of the book and my sanity. I am hoping for August but don't be surprised if it isn't until September. I'm putting my heart out there for the world to judge and I have to believe in myself or else this entire process is pointless. I could release Falling tomorrow but I wouldn't be proud of the work that's complete thus far. Sure it's a story and it's complete but that doesn't mean it is perfect just yet. I still have a lot of edits to make and plenty of things to smooth out so it flows properly. It's a work in progress and that's all I can really say about it.

Thank you for understanding : )
 
 

4 little bookworms

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Witchcraft by Emma Mills

I have talked to Emma Mills on several occasions and she is a very sweet girl who just happens to be a bad ass author : ) I fell in love with her first book, Witchblood, by the cover alone. It was so beautiful yet disturbing I had to investigate. Thank goodness I did because the book was pretty amazing. The last few chapters are what make the book in my opinion. It let me saying... OMG... WTF... NO WAY! Yep it was that mind blowing at the end. But I won't give away any secrets because you need to go read it!

Okay... so onto Witchcraft! This one started out a little slow for me but that might be because it's been so long since I read the first book. But it quickly picked up speed and adventure leaving me happy with the progress. First off I like the main character, Jessie, because she isn't weak. She isn't scared to defy anyone and everything. I hate a weak little crybaby leading female. She isn't perfect but that just makes her easy to relate to. I can't decide on if I like Daniel or not... still up in the air. However, I am fairly certain I dislike Luke, a lot. He pisses me off because you can't want what you didn't try to have and protect. If you toss Jessie to the side knowing Daniel will be their to mend her broken heart, then you can't crying about it. Suck it up! Anyways... the book was amazing and I read it in like a day and a half. Easy read that doesn't leave you bored. The end was once again another cliff hanger but this time I know she {author} is just toying with my emotions. I don't believe for one second that's how it's going to end but she just might surprise me. I'm looking forward to finding out though!!!

So if you like vampires {and who doesn't} and if you like witches {how can you not} then you will enjoy this book. There are other magically being but I don't want to toss out any possible spoilers. It is written by a girl in Europe and the book is set throughout Europe so some of the terms and slang words are foreign but they don't take away from the storyline. It's a refreshing breath of air to see a different piece of the world through her character's eyes. American's do make a small appearance and somehow I foresee a trip to the States in the next book.

Hope this helps you decide if this is something you might enjoy or not. Gotta support the other Indie Author's out there that are as nice as this one is! She has always been supportive of me and never failed to say thank you when I complimented her or ignored an e-mail or fb post. That says a lot about someone's character and those are the little things that I think take people farther in this life. You treat others how you wish to be treated... and it will find a way of repaying you for you humble and sweet attitude. Emma - Good luck with this book and keep me updated on the next book! By the way... the cover art just keeps getting better and better!


Visit Emma Mills at:

http://www.witchbloodthenovel.com/

https://www.facebook.com/Witchbloodthenovel?ref=ts

To buy the book from Amazon, only $2.99, just click the book cover at the top of the page : )


 
 
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Witchcraft by Emma Mills
{book 2 in the series}

Jess is no ordinary vampire. Protected by the Manchester vampire clan, and initiated by her family’s east coast American coven, she is sought after by every dark witch and warring vampire faction. Jess must fight if she wants to keep hold of her friends, her sanity and finally her existence.

As the dead bodies of human girls begin to stack up, and her recently accepted vampire boyfriend, Daniel, finds himself in prison, Jess goes on a crazy, forbidden trip to London, racing against time to save an old friend and solve the mystery behind Daniel’s incarceration. In battling new enemies and finding new friends, Jess’s confidence finds room to grow, but who will she lose along the way?

read book 1 now... it's free!

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FREE E-BOOK ON AMAZON!

Witchblood by Emma Mills
{book 1 in the series}

When Jess steals a glance at a gorgeous guy in a Manchester nightclub, little does she realise how he is going to change her life…or should that be death?

Yet, the vampire clan could never have predicted what they were taking on. With Luke pronounced ‘off-limits’ and the blood of a vampire simmering in Jess’s body, can she forget the love of her life and move on? If not, she will risk exposing the entire Northern clan to untold dangers, in order to live her life the way she wants.

Can Jess be sure that Luke is all he appears to be? Will she succumb to the attraction she desperately tries not to feel for Daniel? And why does she still crave a packet of crisps more than a tasty teenage boy’s blood?

 
 
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Okay people... this is rough and still unedited by the professional but I thought I would share a tiny section of rewriting. I am changing once again so many things that I really believe I am writing the book for the third or fourth time. Each time I think it's getting better and better but you can be the judge of that. Now remember, this is seriously the first time I'm sharing this with the world and I am nervous!

In exactly two months, I will officially become Mrs. Rosalee Lyn Covington. It was four years earlier when I saw Ayden for the first time.  He was parked in the front row of our small classroom awaiting our teacher’s arrival.  He was stunningly handsome in his sleek dark denim jeans and pressed button-down shirt with the long sleeve rolled up his forearms casually.  The array of blues in his eyes remind me of the ocean.  His enchanting eyes range from the crystal, clear sky blue of a calm sea to a devilishly detracting navy like a rough wave splashing against the shore.  The colors intertwine creating a current of silent emotions and leave you getting lost in their depths. The blue shirt he wore only made them shine brighter while outlining every muscle that was trying to hide beneath it. 

To say the least, I could tell he was a very distinguished young man from my vantage point.  Strong, thick arms that any girl could only imagine being wrapped up in; they appeared to be tender while still looking destructive enough to know you were completely safe when with him.  Ayden had the most gorgeous dirty blonde hair that fell just below his eyebrows.  He was the perfect mixture of pose and chaos creating an illusion of overall effortlessness. 

As I stood in the door way like a lost puppy with my mouth basically drooling at the sight of him, I was suddenly being bumped into by my best friend, Zoey Andrews. “What ya looking at?”  I snapped my head in her direction as she continued, “Oh my, never mind, I can see from here what has you needing a hankie to slurp up that slobber.” Her eyebrows bounced up and down jokingly indicating her intrigue in the beautiful guy only rows in front of us.

My face instantly turned bright red with shame of being caught in the act. After being notified that my gaping stare was noticeable to the entire world, I decided to discreetly place my butt in the closest seat available. While fumbling with my book sack and creeping into a desk, I decided I would try to brush it off like it was nothing. “Well Zoey, I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about,” trying my best to sound convincing.

I did my best to stare into her eyes to show her I was fearless, too bad she has known me since I was eight and saw straight through my facade.  The gig was up and I was about to have to tell all before she caused a scene.  She was by no means shy and didn’t hesitate to threaten me with embarrassment on a regular basis.  She never did it to be mean or hurtful but she was just a different breed of person.  It was part of her charm and charisma; she was too curious for her own good sometimes.

“Hmmm… Hmmm…. Well now, Rosalee, we certainly are quite the liar, aren’t we,” she said while tapping her pencil on the desk rapidly to catch my attention. The barely there sound of the bouncing pencil mimicked the racing heart beat in my chest. Thuh-Tump… Thuh-Thump… Thuh-Thump. When I looked up from my desk she dazzled me with her sweet smile of innocence trying to lure me into a trap. She wasn't stupid and made a point to give me that, 'try it' look that dares you while terrifying you to your core.

If Zoey didn’t know me so well, I might think she was oblivious to my internal panic. Her cheesy grin meant only one thing; she knew I was a nervous wreck. You could see the dazzle in her eyes as the wheels turned in her head. Zoey was about to blow my cover and I knew I had to spill the beans before she did it for me.  She had no shame when it came to being brash in public. With every tap of her pencil I knew my time was running out along with her patience. Every crack that pencil made against the desk was another second ticking on the clock of her patience. She was dying to burst out loud with her newly found knowledge that she so easily read from my nervous tendencies.

 I took a deep breathe drawing in all the air I could muster up before blurting out, “Okay, okay… I might have been…just maybe… a little tiny bit checking out that hot guy in the front row”. Well that was enough to get her started, who needs a coffee when you have Zoey to shake the morning drag right out of you. I exhaled the gulp of air that was lingering in my lungs as I watch Zoey light up with excitement. She thought she had found a new pet project to work on but I had different plans for this particular situation.

Zoey had good intentions but her methods were a little unorthodox to say the least.  Most of the time she didn’t even realize she was embarrassing me with her tactics. Being boisterous and impulsive were normal personality traits for her. She never did understand how someone could go through life being as meekly inconspicuous as I did. She knew all too well how uptight I was and her main goal in life was to break me out of my little box.  

Zoey finally stopped smacking her pencil on the desk and all I could hear was the faint buzzing coming from the surrounding conversations. She proceeded to tell me, “You do know that’s Ayden Covington, don’t you?” She shifted her eyes from him back to me and raised her eyebrows in a questioning manor before continuing, “He's the captain of the football team here at UT and is said to go pro even before he graduates.” I nodded for her to keep going and she obliged. “I think his family is forcing him to complete college first, because from what I hear, he had an offer from the Dallas Cowboys.  Nothing starting or anything, but a pro-football player is a pro-football player, no matter how you flip the coin”. Her eyes sparkled with delight as she looked back at Ayden. If I didn't stack a claim to Ayden then Zoey wouldn't hesitate to pounce on him.


I snuck another quick glance at Ayden while she was distracted.  I needed to continue my investigation with Zoey before she got sidetracked. If anyone knew anything about the most recent gossip, then I was talking to the right person.  I needed information on this hunky guy and I knew she had what I was looking for. She was probably already doing recon on him for herself. I swear she knew everyone in Austin; she could tell you every single break-up, make-up and cat fight that occurred. She was a walking, talking, breathing issue of People magazine for the locals around here.

As she gazed across the classroom at the group of boys I knew she was making plans for getting their attention. Zoey was lost in thought when I nudged her arm off her desk almost causing her to topple over. I fought back a laugh as she caught herself mid-fall. She stifled out, “bitch” under her breath as I pretended to not be involved. “You’re so lucky you are my bestie or else I might have to kill you for that little stunt!” Her eyes burned into the side of my face as I tensed my jaw muscles harder to hide my smile. I slowly turned my face to see her giving me the stank-eye, “Don’t act innocent because I know you did that shit on purpose.” I couldn’t hold my grin back any longer and we both started giggling in the back of the classroom causing everyone to stare at us. My cheeks ached from laughing so much and we only stopped after I noticed the eyes focused on us. When Zoey saw my stunned expression she did a quick assessment of the room and froze her gaze on the closest person gawking at us. “What? Is there something I can help you with? Well, besides that wretched hairstyle and those tacky shoes you have on?” The girl turned fifty shades of red and fluttered her eyes away from us while everyone else followed suite. Zoey cleared her throat loudly before finishing, “That’s what I thought, skank!”

I was mortified by Zoey’s over-the-top performance and felt sorry for the girl that was randomly chosen as her target. I turned my focus back to Zoey, “Okay, I think she gets it. I think everyone gets it!” I snatched her arm and pulled her back farther into the desk. “They were just curious about why we were laughing so hard.” Zoey turned back to look down at the hand I had wrapped around her slender forearm. “Oh… sorry, so you were saying?” She stopped giving me that, ‘you are too nice’ glare and began to smile again when I brought up the topic of Ayden again. “So do you know if Ayden is single? Is he seeing anyone?” I fidgeted with my finger nails and began stripping the pink paint off.

It was a nasty little nervous habit that I had picked up but it met my need of distraction just fine as I moved to a second nail. My mother wouldn’t allow me to bite them so I quickly learned that ripping the paint off was acceptable. She would take one look at my tattered nails and request an immediate trip for a mani/pedi. That was about the only time we ever bonded as mother and daughter.

Zoey didn’t even try to hide the arrogant grin plastered on her pretty little face.  “I don’t believe he does, from what I hear he is single.”  Her smug smile grew bigger with every passing word while her eyes lit up with mischief. “Do you want me to introduce you to him?  I know one of the guys he is sitting with and I could easily help you meet him right now if you like” saying nonchalantly. She tossed her blonde hair over her shoulders as she reached in her purse for some lip gloss.

Oh no, she’s primping! She is totally serious about walking down there right this minute and introducing me to Ayden as her lame friend with no backbone. I abruptly dropped my half painted nail and jerked my hand towards her arm again. I grabbed her forearm with enough strength to make her turn and face me.  She was already pushing herself off the desk and I needed to stop her by any means necessary. I fiercely whispered “No! No! NO! Please don’t Zoey! I am begging you to please not help me with this one.” As she scooted back in her chair I continued, “every time you meddle in my life it never has a happy ending.” She glared back at me with eyes of disdain and I gently let her arm fall from my tight grasp. “This time I want to do it all by myself.  Just help me figure out a flawless plan, please?” I crossed my fingers under my desk while giving her my biggest puppy-dog eyes.

Her face was scrunched up and her eyes still daring but then she giggled breaking the silence between us. “Fine!” she said defeated while whipping her bleached strands back around her neck. “But seriously, if you grab my arm like that again, I will bitch slap you, best friend or not. The last thing I need are bruises on my arm before my date with Alex tonight.” I rapidly exhaled the breath I had forgotten I had taken during the anticipation of her response.

Of course she was more worried about her appearance than my sanity. I gently nodded in agreement about the no touching rule that was now in effect. Usually I didn’t get so physical but I was acting out of fear. I felt justified in my harsh reactions even though I was embarrassed by my rudeness. “I’m sorry Zee… did I hurt you?” I gave her the puppy-dog face again but this time I tilted my head to the side a little for a more dramatic effect. Her response was an eye-roll but that was enough for me to stop feeling bad. Zoey could go from fuming mad to peaceful bliss in a blink of an eye. On occasion, I thought she might be a tad bipolar but then again that’s just her personality.  

The professor strolled into the classroom and began the normal first day boring speech every teacher gives. The conversations died down and people slowly began to focus on the tiny, bald man in front of the classroom.

After composing herself from her little outburst she settled her eyes back upon me and whispered, “My little girl is growing up! How cute!” Her smiling lips were stretched across her face in pure joy as I saw the wheels turning in her head of her soon to be plan of attack. “Okay… I have an idea but it’s pretty juvenile but it works, I promise it will work.” She continued to hash out her plan with me between breaks in our professor's lecture.

This was something I needed to do on my own.  Someone else was always fighting my battles for me and I thought it was time I changed that.  I needed to find some independence if I ever expected to make it in the ‘real world’. Starting college was my gateway to freedom and I was going to take advantage of it. It took almost a year of begging but daddy finally agreed to let me live in one of the dorms on campus with Zoey.  He was worried that without him around to keep me in check that I would go hog-wild.  I promised a million times that I would come home the first time I messed up and that seemed to appease him.

After class, I waited to see Ayden heading up the aisle before I decided to make my move.  I wiped the trickle of sweat off my palms and onto my blue jeans before getting out of my desk and heading in his direction. I did a few deep breathes as I traveled the short distance towards him. As he neared, I promptly drop my books in front of his pathway trying to get his attention.  Sure it was a lame attempt, but a girl’s gotta do what a girls gotta do, right? Zoey swore it would work so I trusted her wholeheartedly.

The books slammed into the ground with a loud thud and scattered around in front of his feet. I let out a false gasp of shock before saying, “Oh-my-god! I’m so sorry!” I flopped down in the walkway and started to fumble with the books trying to gain more time with him.

His burly voice warmed my insides as he leaned down next to me, “It’s okay, here, let me help you with those.” Ayden smelt absolutely delicious and all I thought about was getting closer so I could sniff him. Overwhelming musky aromas of cologne sent my body into a frenzy and I fought hard to control my action. The last thing I needed to do was tackle the poor kid and smell him to death. Ayden's hand brushed up against mine as we both reached for my law book, “So, are you pre-law too?”

I tilted my head up and our eyes caught for the tiniest few seconds before I absently started to nod my head up and down. I gave him a weak smile before asking, “Yeah. Is that your major too?” Ayden nodded in return but gave me the smile that only money could buy. His teeth were pearly white and perfectly straight. They accented his gorgeous lips and made his blue eyes dance in the florescent lights. “Ahh…” I stuttered on my words and glanced behind me to see Zoey smiling proudly from the back of the class room. She fluffed her arms at me trying to indicate to keep going so I did just that. “Umm… maybe we could study sometime?”

Ayden tucked all of my books into his massively large hands and stood up from his hunched position. I weakly followed by standing up and noticed how short I was next to him. I had to stretch my neck and jolt my head back a ways to see his face. So he was hot, built, tall with blonde hair and blue eyes. I'm pretty sure he was perfect and I was just lucky he gave me a second glance.

“Sure.” Was all he said as he started walking towards the exit with my books still in his grasp. I turned back again to Zoey but she was gone; she must of taken a back exit and ditched me so I couldn’t back out of this. I raced to catch up with his gigantic strides when I turned to see he was half-way out of the classroom. When I caught up to him and indicated I’d take my books back he just starred at me dumbly for a second before responding. “I got it. Can I walk you to your next class?” I silently agreed with a simple shake of my head as we walked down the hallway.



 
 
I promise I didn't forget about all of you guys! I love you guys and feel horrible for neglecting you and my website. I was visiting my family in Louisiana for a week and have been disconnected from the world. I haven't been able to read a lot or do anything productive for my site. I did however get some feedback from my editor about Falling!!! I am working hard on revisions and taking longer than expected due to my recent employment. I started my new job today with the City and have been crazy busy. Falling will probably be delayed since I will have less time to work on it but I am trying extremely hard to get it done by the end of July.


3 Little Bookworms


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On my ridiculous long drive across the huge state of Texas and all the way across Louisiana I did get a chance to listen to an audio book. This was my very first audio book and I have to say that I didn't hate it. It was better than listening to the radio for 10 hours while being trapped in my car. I went through several samples before I picked Delirium. The voice suited the theme of the book and seemed to interest me over others. It's not something that I would listen to on a regular basis because I do like reading and creating the characters in my head. But the audio book met its purpose and entertained me when reading wasn't an option.

First off, let's start with the voices! The girl who narrated the book did a great job... but it wasn't what I would of imagined if I had read the book. She would change her voice up and down to mimic the other characters and that bothered me. The voice for Alex sounded like too much like a girl and it turned me off! Every time I heard his dialog I was instantly put off and couldn't focus on their relationship. The other voices were annoying but they were all girls so it didn't crawl under my skin as much as Alex's voice did. I didn't fall in love with the love interest and that was disappointing :( I ordered the second book because I got a free trial for two books but I haven't decided if I want to listen to it or not.

Secondly, I can't decide how I feel about this book. I enjoyed it but then I can't decide if I want to finish the series. There is a novella titled Hana that fits in between the two books and gives Lana's best friend's point of view. *SPOILER ALERT* I read ahead of the reviews and was extremely pissed off about what Hana does to Lana & Alex. I felt like it wasn't fitting with the story I ended on... I won't go into too much detail but I don't believe this side of Hana's character. I am only about 25% through it and I don't really have a desire to finish it if that indicates anything?

And lastly, I didn't enjoy the story being told to me because it felt repetitive. Hearing the voice act out the emotion then hearing the voice tell you the emotion trying to be depicted was redundant. For example: Susie longingly said, "I love you Johnny!" - It's great if you are reading the book because you can tell that Susie is desperately telling Johnny she is in love with him but when you hear it twice it gets distracting. Also, the author was a little too descriptive if that makes any sense? Sometimes she would go into so much detail that I zoned out. At some point in the story I don't need every feeling and emotion the character is experiencing being described in overly written detail. For example: Susie felt the air breeze by her face like a tender caress while gazing out into the deep blue ocean getting lost in it's vastness. She heard the crickets chirping faintly in the distance like a mother's delicate voice singing to her new born child. The Autumn leaves crinkled loudly as the wind brushed harshly against the trees surrounding her. Susie longingly said, "I love you Johnny" as he pushed his wooden boat off the shaky planks that creaked beneath her feet. She sat on the shore line watching Johnny's silhouette disappear into the distance while her heart slowly ripped out of her body with each row he made. - I get it when it's in the right place and the right time. I don't care about the wind and crickets! Get to the point already. Maybe I am wrong but it just seems forced. While beautifully written and descriptive down to the last little word it is overkill in my opinion. My writing style is a little more fluid and realistic; I prefer the reader to draw some imagination and create their own world. Anyways, that's just my opinion but I will say that Lauren Oliver is a wonderfully talented author who wrote a captivating story.

Sadly torn in between like and dislike : (  I'd recommend you try it out for yourself since I honestly can't decide how I feel about this book.

Click the links below
for amazon e-books

 
 

contest #1
Kindle giveaway

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I was thinking about hosting a Kindle Giveaway and need some advice? What do you think should be the winning factor in the contest? A trivia game with the highest score? Maybe someone who submits the best short story? The person who helps promote my upcoming book the most (ie. like page, comment on blog, share on facebook etc.) or something else? I am willing to buy and mail a Kindle to the winner; I just need to find the perfect contest for it. Please let me know what you think? You can e-mail me your contest ideas at nldufour_books@yahoo.com

Contest #2
create a character

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Falling Book 2 - the winner will help create, name, and form the perfect character in my next book. Whether you want to go dark and make the bad guy or if you want to find Rosalee's best friend, Zoey, a man of her own. I'll give you full range to help me create a character for the second book in the Falling Series. Give me some ideas

 
 

Louisiana & loving it!

I'm home in Louisiana for a few days spending time with my best friends and family. I hate the 10 hour drive but I love the feeling of being home. Nothing beats a day of shopping and lunch with my two best friends from jr high school or swinging my nieces around until we are dizzy. Seeing them for just a few minutes makes me realize how much I miss being so far away. Everytime I see my sister's little girls it's like they grew over night. They are taller and more mature looking - learning to talk and walk one visit and the next they are wearing big girl panties. I hate that I can't be around to watch them grow :( I have 10 neices and nephews but to be honest I do have a few favorites.

Plus, I am a huge dady's girl so I love getting spoiled for a few days while I visit. Just finished showing my mom how to use the kindle app for her ipad (shes dying to read my book) and in case I haven't said this before, but I HATE Apple Iphones and Ipad etc. They confuse the hell out of me and I end up wanting to toss them across the room! It probably would of been easier to upload my e-book to IBook store then it was to show her how to work that stupid Ipad. But on a good note I did get a nice home cooked meal - YUMMY :) Also had my nails painted by a 4 year old so you can just imagine how wonderful they look! I don't have two nails that are the same color but beautiful none the least.

Bridemaids shoes search was a bust! Went all over Baton Rouge looking for the right shoes but couldn't find a single pair. I did however get my measurements and ordered my dress so I can check that off the list. My best friend, Carrie, is getting married this November in New Orleans. CAN'T WAIT!!! Also want to give a little shout out to her fiance for his recent job!!! Whoop Whoop! Looks like I wont be the only one who is starting a new job this month. Got to hang out with my besties Carrie & Tiffany all day! I love how we can spend so much time apart and pick up right were we left off at. True friendship :D I can honestly say that I only have a handful of real friends and I woulnd't change that for anything. It's better to have Quality rather than Quanity.

Planning on spending tomorrow with my family while being as lazy as possible. I should be starting my job on Monday depending on my drug screening results. HR said that it should only take a few days so hopefully I will find out on Friday. For some reason the city on likes to start dates on Mondays. Weird. So if my results aren't in by then I will have to wait until the following Monday. I am excited to start my new job! But I am sad to know that my lazy days are over. No more sleeping late or reading all afternoon.  I'll have to start waking up early and being productive... yay! But this just means that I will have more money to spend shopping! Gotta love that!

 
 

5 little bookworms!

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Scars by Cheryl Rainfield 

I decided to come up with a rating system for my book reviews. 5 Little Bookworms being the best, obviously!

WARNING: THIS IS A VERY PERSONAL REVIEW OF A VERY TOUCHING BOOK SO DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE RUDE COMMENTS TO MAKE BECAUSE I'M ENTITLED TO MY OPINION. I SPEAK FROM REAL LIFE CIRCUMSTANCES AND WHAT I HAVE TO SAY ISN'T THE PRETTIEST! 

This book was amazing! Like over the top, spin me for a loop, drop me from the sky and tickle me till I cry kinda book. This is not a book for everyone but I would highly recommend it if this is something you feel comfortable reading about. {Disclaimer: Lesbian/Gay Relations & Sexual Molestation & Cutting} I personal liked this book for it's raw and un-fluffy approach to such a taboo topic. This is a serious issue and I believe it needs to be addressed. Books aren't always suppose to be sunshine & unicorns! Every now and again it is refreshing to read a book that makes you stop and think about things. Real things. Things that actually happen, whether you choose to believe them or not. Real things that make your stomach turn and your eyes water. Things that in one way or another - you probably know someone who can relate to these things - change you forever.

People are always in denial about the harsh realities of life but I'm hear to tell you that this shit exists whether you choose to believe it or not. {and I can say this because I do have a criminal justice degree and have served for several district attorneys and clerks offices} Horrible things happen to people who do not ever deserve being subjected to such wicked, sick ways of our world. Child molesters' aren't people who hide in the shadows and go bump in the night! They are not people that you don't know who only do this once to strange, random children. No! This happens everyday to children by people they care for and trust over and over and over again. People that you might sit across the table from at Thanksgiving dinners or people that you let babysit your children. Sorry to be so blunt about it but it is a real problem that you can try to prevent if you know the signs & if not prevented then you can help or get help before things get out of control.

This book is an example of a young girl's sexual abused by a loved one for years who only knows how to cope with it by cutting herself to release the pain while her parent's turn a blind eye. These things are going to happen and its going to be difficult but it is not impossible. You can either let yourself become a victim or you can choose to become a survivor! This young girl, with all her faults and troubles, chooses to be a survivor of sexual assault. She's young and unguided, like most youth in this situation are, but she never lets her struggles consume her. Sure she has issues here and there but she is working on her internal demons and becoming stronger by facing the issues. I also love how the writer puts links in the back of the book to several hotlines and websites for sexual abuse and self-inflicted abuse/pain.

I'm not trying to say that I'm a perfect person and nothing bad will ever happen when or if I have children but I know that I will do my best to help my child in every way imaginable if ever faced with something has devastating as this. Having several people close to me who have been in similar situations gives me a decent perspective on the matter. I have seen women that have experienced this type of trauma and become a better, stronger person because of it. I've also seen people who let it eat away at them and refuse to deal with the issue.

You can't help someone if they don't want the help and I admire all those who try to give guidance to those lost in life. Most people think that it only hurts them when they find themselves in a situation like this well I think that's BULLSHIT! Being the abused victim or being the support system both have equal rights to the pain and accomplishments of overcoming the situation. Watching someone self-destruct right in front of your eyes while you do everything you can think of to help is just as bad as being the one who is going through the issues. Knowing someone close to you who was harmed as a child makes you stronger. Wishing it would of happened to you instead because you might be able to manage the pain and knowing that nothing you can do is going to relieve that person from the torture! No matter what side of the fence you are on in this no one comes out of it unscathed. This book will open your eyes to the world you want to pretend doesn't exist. Wow... a total must read if you haven't already.

 
 
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Scars by Cheryl Rainfield

Amazon Book Description
Kendra must face her past and stop hurting herself—before it's too late.... An edgy, realistic, and hopeful novel about a teen survivor of sexual abuse who uses self-harm to cope. Kendra, fifteen, hasn't felt safe since she began to recall devastating memories of childhood sexual abuse, especially because she still can't remember the most important detail – her abuser's identity. Frightened, Kendra believes someone is always watching and following her, leaving menacing messages only she understands. If she lets her guard down even for a minute, it could cost Kendra her life. To relieve the pressure, Kendra cuts; aside from her brilliantly expressive artwork, it's her only way of coping. Since her own mother is too self-absorbed to hear her cries for help, Kendra finds support in others instead: from her therapist and her art teacher, from Sandy, the close family friend who encourages her artwork, and from Meghan, the classmate who's becoming a friend and maybe more. But the truth about Kendra's abuse is just waiting to explode, with startling unforeseen consequences. SCARS is the unforgettable story of one girl's frightening path to the truth.

Goodreads Description
Kendra must face her past and stop hurting herself—before it's too late.... An edgy, realistic, and hopeful novel about a teen survivor of sexual abuse who uses self-harm to cope.

Kendra, fifteen, hasn't felt safe since she began to recall devastating memories of childhood sexual abuse, especially because she still can't remember the most important detail – her abuser's identity. Frightened, Kendra believes someone is always watching and following her, leaving menacing messages only she understands. If she lets her guard down even for a minute, it could cost Kendra her life. To relieve the pressure, Kendra cuts; aside from her brilliantly expressive artwork, it's her only way of coping. Since her own mother is too self-absorbed to hear her cries for help, Kendra finds support in others instead: from her therapist and her art teacher, from Sandy, the close family friend who encourages her artwork, and from Meghan, the classmate who's becoming a friend and maybe more. But the truth about Kendra's abuse is just waiting to explode, with startling unforeseen consequences. SCARS is the unforgettable story of one girl's frightening path to the truth.

 
 
Dark House by Karina Halle
Experiment in Terror #1

2.5 STARS
This book is a wonderful book, don't get me wrong, it's just not the book for me. I never felt invested in the book or related to the characters. I'd didn't find it to be creepy or spooky but that's just my twisted sense of terror I guess. I felt like I was climbing up a hill and every time I thought I was getting close to the top, I would slip and fall back down and have to start all over again. Every time I thought the book was going to get somewhere, I felt like it fell flat. The writing was great and the story line was intriguing but it just wasn't the book for me. I skipped large sections just to get to the end to see if I would be left with a cliffhanger making me want to read book two but nothing. I'd recommend this book if you are into creepy haunted ghost chasing weirdos who are battling their own personal demons as well as their relationship ups and downs. Just not the book for me but it might be something completely different to someone else. It has lots of great reviews and was recommending by several friends who all loved the book and series. I wanted to enjoy it, but I just couldn't find it in me to enjoy this book. Sorry!